Bill Murray's movies as life lessons...

The other day, the movie Groundhog Day was on. This movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell is about a guy who keeps reliving the same day over and over and over again and ends up doing all kinds of crazy things because he knows the next day everything will be the same. It’s only after he figures out that maybe he’s stuck in this craziness because he’s supposed to be learning something from the experience will be get to get past the day. I mean he learns to play piano, learns foreign languages, lets a groundhog drive a truck and actually does learn there’s a lot more available in life than he had been experiencing.
I think I’ve been in my own Groundhog Day.

Side note -- I also have realized that a lifetime of TV watching has really
helped nurture the very dramatic part of my personality. I do take a sort
of perverse pride in being able to match up nearly any real life situation with
a TV counterpart (try me…I’m 100% with this). It can be off-putting though
to someone who doesn’t watch Seinfeld or Friends when I come out with a “the
same thing happened to Ross once…” analogy.

OK back to my story, for the past several months (until the layoff notice came) most days I felt plagued by this feeling like you’re wearing a shirt that is just a bit too small – although you wiggle around you just aren’t comfortable. I had made deals with myself about why it would be good if I stayed put where I was. These were not things that really made me feel good but they made sense if I thought about them. I felt that with the economy going south that if I kept my head down I could make decent money and although I didn't feel as challenged or happy as I had in earlier times there at least it was fun to see my friends everyday. And although I don’t necessarily believe there are forces at work in my life beyond myself…it was really when I made piece with being, I guess, unhappy that everything was changed for me.

I was thinking about the survey I did the other day. What was I hoping to get out of it? Was I hoping someone would tell me with a lightning bolt that there were other things I should be doing or to give me some divine inspiration on where I am to go from here. Maybe not. My husband has been encouraging me to join a team, get some hobbies and get some things going so that my days have shape while I look for a job. I’m working on that but even in doing that I’ve found myself stalling. What am I afraid of? Maybe finally getting everything I want?

So today my goal is to remind myself of another Bill Murray movie (yes I do manage most things in my life through TV) and do a bit of baby steps (it’s a “What About Bob?” reference). Today I am researching baking classes…I’ve always wanted to do that. I’ll get to tomorrow when it gets here.