It's only a catapult ride away

My internet went down on Saturday and just got it back up running today. Apparently because of some problem with the “fitting”, my modem was receiving so much information without regulation that it shorted out. Kind of similar to the way I was feeling last week and why I haven’t written since then.

I’ve found that telling people you’ve been laid off is a pretty inclusive statement. Everyone is really empathetic and you’d be hard pressed to find someone who didn’t have something to offer. People either have personal experiences to share about themselves or someone they know and everyone has suggestions about how to handle it. Complete strangers even have offered up advice and I get to wondering—what is it about being laid off that is so universal that everyone has something to say. Honestly, there have been times where I feel like the workforce equivalent of a pregnant woman with people asking to touch my belly. While the prospect of strangers actually touching my stomach creeps me the heck out, everyone’s input has been pretty illuminating because I think in some level, what they are saying and sharing is also a reflection on their own feelings about their jobs, their vulnerabilities and their own dreams.

What I’m hearing:

A staggering number of people volunteer to me that they wish they were laid off. I believe most of them mean it too. It really is sort of like being catapulted out of your routine and (ugh I’m over this phrase) out of your comfort zone and forced into the open to actually find something you want to do/are qualified to do/that people want you to do. I don’t wish anyone to actually be laid off but like hearing that these people are open to something completely new. I know I’ll be ok and they make me remember that if I forget. Maybe when I find my next thing and am happy and doing really well, I can be an example to them to just take the risk themselves.

Almost everyone has a story about either themselves or they know someone who got laid off and it was the best thing that ever happened to them. I think people want to share these stories because they think I am nervous or scared. Or, maybe they’re worried about their own jobs and if they can reassure me that everything can turn out for the very best in the end, it can also reassure their own nervous hearts that if it happens to them, they’ll also be ok.

I think some people think it’s contagious. I actually had someone I know practically run away from me the other day as we they were catching me up on what was new at my old job. It doesn’t rub off. If there are going to be layoffs at your company, or more at my old work – it’s going to happen regardless of if you hang out with me or preferably buy me a beer. Truthfully, in a lot of places the organizational or environmental structure that led the company to its present state hasn’t changed and even with less people to do the same amount of work or more isn’t enough to keep it solvent. (Sidenote If you get laid off, I know a great place to play shuffleboard for $3/hour AND have found lots of places for $4 dinners, free hikes AND I know three little kids under 5 who are willing to entertain you for hours with reruns of Scooby Doo all in exchange for a few hugs!)

There are also lots of folks who have advice. I have gotten LOTS of advice, oh and lots of people telling me about jobs they themselves wouldn’t want at all but share with me. What I’ve decided--Everyone who gives you advice usually loves you and wants to help. You can’t fault them for that. In fact it’s because they care that they do this. Usually these are action-oriented people focused on next steps and they may not understand exactly what you are going through or feeling but they are trying to help you move forward.

The way I see it is, because layoffs are almost always “out of the blue” that unpredictability takes people’s feelings of control away – if you are the ones laid off or the ones who survive it. You are reminded that there are lots of other people who are able to influence and ultimately decide your fate at work (and we know that for a lot of people work is a HUGE part of their lives). If you survive the layoffs, you are left wondering "will I be next" and maybe also feeling a little bit guilty for feeling angry at the increased workload you’ll now be saddled with or also maybe as the “why me” kicks in. If you’ve been laid off you also get the “why me” as well as the “what the hell am I going to do”. In both cases, you get scared and nervous. The reason everyone has something to offer is because those feelings are pretty universal. The thing that is important to remember is that we as individuals also have the ability and right to influence and decide our own fates at work and elsewhere.

The reality is there are lots of other things we can all do for work, and would do well at, and make more friends, and maybe if we’re lucky be even happier. Yes it’s super scary out there and more layoffs as we speak are being announced. But there are still jobs, and school, and maybe a bit of summer weather if you can find it. From my own catapult ride into the great wide open – I have found a LOT of options, a lot of fear, and maybe I’m also finding I like myself a lot better now.

Maybe those people are right – it really can be the best thing that ever happened. Now if I would only win the lottery.