Isn't there an internal mechanism in your head that tells you not to send stuff like this?

OK, so this email didn't come to me but it was forwarded to me by a friend who is currently looking for a job. They applied for a job and received the following back from someone associated with the company they were applying for. I don't want to be upset with anyone that responds to a resume submission because of the entire world, I assume there are only three people in the world doing this since for most jobs we apply to we don't ever hear anything...but, I wonder how many people sending emails actually read them to see if they make any sense or at the very least...aren't totally lame before they send them? In this case, they were thanking my friend for their submission and telling them that people in their career path (which was not the right one at all, and had their name weirdly inserted throughout the email, and basically told them that although they were great... Read on and you'll see what I mean.

"Dear (blogger's friend),

I wanted to write to thank you (blogger's friend) for your recent interest in our firm. also wanted to take a chance to advise you (blogger's friend) personally because you have an excellent record. I am very glad that you contacted [us], and I’d like to take this opportunity to give you some advice that I really hope will help your career. First, there is no doubt you have an outstanding record. Your experience appears quite strong in all respects. We feel privileged that Brand Manager professionals such as you (mind you this was not my friend's current job or job they were applying for or even their career) contact us on an ongoing basis. Yet, the ability of recruiters to make placements with these employers depends on various factors. Although your credentials will likely allow you to get several job offers, at this point, despite the relatively high quality of your credentials and experience, we believe that you would best be served by conducting your search on your own rather than through a ecruiter. Given the strength of your record, it is my opinion that you can get severaloffers—but most likely not [through us]. As a Brand Manager (again, really?)professional, I believe you can easily find many positions within the marketingindustry— Account Executive, Commercial Marketing Manager, FieldMarketing Manager, Online Marketing Intern (oooh intern, really?) —to name a few. Here is how I would go about getting a position if I were you: How To Bypass A Recruiting Firm And Apply Directly To Specific Openings. Because we are a recruiting firm, a large part of our job is screening candidates for employers. More importantly, due to the fact that employers pay us to locate candidates, they also give us much more demanding hiring criteria than they might otherwise have if you were to approach them for the same positions on your own. This is especially so in the marketing industry. A marketing firm or an employer looking for a Brand Manager professional is more likely to hire you if you are applying on your own, rather than coming through a recruiting firm. In addition, because we are contractually obligated to only introduce candidates matching an employer's "specific" hiring criteria, we cannot give away the identity of our clients unless someone meets exactly what they are looking for. ... In the future, I also hope you come back to us in your career for assistance with your job search."

Another friend of mine once went to an interview that he thought went super well (except his car got towed while he was inside). He had dressed up in his best suit, chatted about his experience, etc and thought OK we'll see where this goes. The next day he got a 2 page email from the interviewer not only saying he wouldn't be considered but it was this vitriolic diatribe lambasting him for failing to dress up for the interview and criticizing his appearance, lack of work ethic and personal presentation. What the *****!!!? We could only figure the interviewer got him mixed up with someone else but seriously, who does that? Say no thank you and leave it at that.

I once met a guy and exchanged phone numbers that night. He called me the next day to tell me that he was not going to call me again to ask me out and proceeded to explain to me why in ego crushing detail-- I was so amazed I couldn't think of any great comebacks but seriously, what? If it's not a good fit, it's not a good fit. We're OK without your opinions.

Again, an automatic email response that says "Thank you so much for your interest in our (blah, blah, blah). If we find that your qualifications and talents match an opening with our company you will be hearing from us" or "Thank you for your interest. We have decided to go in another direction" is all we need. Some companies do have this. I love you all. To the rest of you...no one who's applying for jobs wants your "professional advice". We're professionals. If you don't want us, fine but leave it at that.